When you're really really hungry, you get the almost the same sort of feeling as the start of a high. Just the start, the buzz, when you're beginning to feel it. When you're all in your head suddenly and you just keep thinking of some incredibly stupid thing like its critically important. Both times you're light in the head. Both times, you're distracted by this one really really strong feeling. One time its the hunger and the other its the intoxication.
I'd gotten up at 2 in the afternoon, missing both breakfast and lunch. At the canteen, while I ate my body weight, and since I was incredibly bored, I tried to guess which part of India each person in the canteen came from. Which was pretty entertaining. And unexpectedly easy. Bengalis and South Indians were by far the easiest. South Indians probably because I'm one myself. We're not very varied people. Theres always the same look in the eye of the average South Indian. The knowledgeable, maths and science geek kinda look. I would be pretty offended if any non-South Indian had said that,though. Its weird how much stereotyping goes on unconsciously in my head.
And I hate people who expect me to conform to a stereotype. When I see masses of humanity, especially when I'm traveling somewhere, theres the urge to prove I'm different from what people think of me. And different from people around me. And when I feel like I'm this little rat, in this huge maze of cages that is my hostel. I have this healthy exaggerated sense of self-importance and its irritating when I feel it corrode away.
And its almost sad how much my outlook on life and mood changes because of food. Its sad because I wish I wasn't so motivated and satisfied by food. Theres not much else that pushes me on then.
But my exaggerated sense of self-importance somehow convinces me that this a good thing too. I'm lucky I still have that. :).
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4 comments:
take it from a non-science artsy southie who's half-geek and almost a converted bengali: screw the stereotypes, stick to food.
food is all that matters in the world.
PS. why valhallan? norse influence? it still sounds vaguely southie - kumaran, jayadevan, valhallan.
**grin**
i used to think of myself as an idiot to love food so much. although i always loved it, of late (i think after college) food made me happy... maybe its just an assurance of the good things of life..
y vallahan btw?
Haha,non-science artsy southie sounds like an oxymoron.
And I'm "The Valhallan" because I dig the valkyries. :P
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